The lights are off again
by o calcutta
Summary: He took her in his arms, and held her, and he knew she was leaving fast. He didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t leave her. He couldn’t stay, or she would leave him forever.
1. black tears

A/N: Harry/Ginny, hope you like it......meant to be a one shot, but if you like it, i could continue it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to harry potter, everything except the premise for this story belongs to the illustrious JK Rowling. I also claim no rights to the lyrics from the song "Losing Lisa" by the wonderful Ben Folds.

_The lights are off again, she took me by surprise. She's so sensitive, and shit just happens sometimes. She's my everything, she's my best friend and more. We don't do anything we didn't the day before you go....you ought to know, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted you to know...._

_Black tears are falling down her face, and I am wrong_

_Black tears are falling down her face, and she wont say what I've done_

_She's sitting here beside me, and she is gone_

_Black tears are falling, falling._

_Remember long ago? Together, laughing, loving._

_Oh, so long ago, when we were buying something_

_Life was simple then_

_But she's not happy now and I,_

_I don't feel anything_

_Her lips are moving, _

_I am mesmerized_

_By tiny lies_

_I'm watching as the shapes are drawing slowly from her eyes_

_Black tears are falling down her face, and I am wrong_

_Black tears are falling down her face, and she wont say what I've done_

_She's sitting here beside me, and she is gone_

_Black tears are falling, falling._

_Black tears are falling, falling_

_Losing Her,_

_Losing Her_

_Losing Her and there's nothing I can do...... _

He watched her huddled form on the couch...the slow rise and fall of her breathing. Her angelic face was impassive in sleep. It was the only time he ever saw her happy. Her red hair was rumpled under her cheek, and it fluttered every time she breathed, like a flock of skittish red birds. Her hands were clasped together and her legs were pulled underneath her. Harry could remember clearly years before, when he had been so deeply in love with her. He could see her radiant face in his mind, her golden skin, speckled with a small smattering of freckles across the nose, her hair smooth and beautiful, framing her lovely face, her blue eyes, sweet as twin robin's eggs. She was smiling at him, in his mind, her soul shining along with her perfect teeth. His gaze shifted from inwards to outwards, and he saw the same lovely woman lying on the couch, and her eyes were open now. Her lovely, sweet blue eyes, but they were sad, and her fiery hair was limp around her pale face. The same woman, yet with more cares, and more sorrow. She sat up, and smiled softly at Harry. He sat next to her on the couch and put his arm around her. She looked at him with her sad eyes and said ever so softly, so that he was unsure she had even spoken "Hi." He put one of her hands in his and whispered back "hi, how are you doing?" a solitary tear trickled out of the corner of her eye and shivered down her cheek. "Ok." She answered. And she leaned into him.

How could she have changed so much? He asked himself. What could he have done to keep her with him? For he knew that she was slipping away from him, quietly, gradually, like a rain cloud slowly retreating into the distance. He smoothed his fingers through her hair, and let himself sink into her pool of sorrow along with her.

He left her there on the couch when the dawn light came through his window, waking him. He shut the door quietly behind him, and went to work.

He drove up to the house, went up the front porch steps. He came through the front door. He saw her on the floor. He felt weak, diminished, feather-light, like the softest breeze could pick him up and carry him along on its crest. His heart had stopped beating and was somewhere else entirely than it should be. He was paralyzed with cold. She was in the dark, all alone. He went to her, and she was cold, and crying, and still. No matter how he shook her, she wouldn't move. And he picked her up in his arms, and tears continued to squeeze out of the corners of her closed eyes. He was afraid, his heart pounding, back in his chest. He was freezing his heart deliberately, to ease the pain. Putting his pain on ice, to examine later. He took her in his arms, and held her, and he knew she was leaving fast. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave her. He couldn't stay, or she would leave him forever.

He saw the bottle of pills on the table, and he was paralyzed all over again. His brain seemed to shatter, and prisms of light fell past his eyes. He felt as if he had been hit in the stomach. He laid her on the couch, and called someone, he couldn't quite be sure of who it was. But they were there a minute later, and it was Mrs. Weasley, screaming and screaming, and calling paramedics, and healers, and clutching her daughter's cold hands, "Ginny, Ginny...how could we have let it get this far? Ginny." And Harry was lying on the freezing floor, his hair all over his white face, his hands clammy. And all he could see was her face, white, her freckles standing out starkly, and her hair fanned out around her on the floor. And then it was dark, and he couldn't see anything at all.

A/n: do you want me to continue it?? Or not??? I don't know what I am going to do. R&R please.


	2. stone

A/N: ok, so you want me to continue it, so here I am, continuing it. Hope you're happy, and I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do Harry Potter whatsoever, nor any rights to the song "Fired" by Ben Folds Five...

She walks into a room.  
Because she does it's not the same room  
The one she wanted to be in  
She says "everywhere I damn! there I am.

_and I just want to walk away  
Won't you let me walk away sometimes?  
Won't you let me walk away?  
  
Every one of you is fired  
  
I'm just an ordinary guy  
And all I want is to be loved - is that so wrong?  
Don't think that I don't know what you're saying about me  
I hear it all through these thin walls  
And I just want to walk away  
Won't you let me walk away this time?  
I just want to walk away  
  
Every one of you is fired  
Every one of you is oh oh oh oh  
Every one of you is fired yeah!  
  
I just want to walk away  
Won't you let me walk away this time?  
'cause I just want to walk away  
  
Every one of you is fired  
Every one of you is oh oh oh oh  
Every one of you is fired  
Every one of you is oh oh oh oh  
Fired_

Harry sat next to her bed in the ward. He watched the slow rise and fall of her chest, and the fluttering of her eyelids as she slept fitfully.

Earlier that night, the healers had burst into the room, conjuring a stretcher as they went. In a flash, Ginny had been placed on the stretcher, and they were hurrying her out the door into the Ambulance, for disaperrating can be bad for an ill person. Harry and Mrs. Weasley had been chivvied into the ambulance, and Harry had sat, carved out of stone, the whole ride, while Mrs. Weasley had wrung Ginny's hands, and wept the whole way. Harry felt as if the ride had taken five years, but really it only took about two minutes, and then Ginny was being swept away from him, and he couldn't keep up with her, he was made out of stone, how can a stone move as fast as a dying woman? She was flying fast, and he tried to tell them she was leaving, but he couldn't make him mouth move, and he just crumpled in the hall and sat there until a healer had found him there and led him to Ginny.

And now he sat next to her bed, and he watched her angelic breathing, and he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn't come home from work early. Would he have lost her altogether? Would he still? He couldn't answer any of those questions, and he didn't want to, but he couldn't stop from thinking of them, and his thoughts continued to swirl through the night, taking the same, worn-out paths through his brain, making him wish he could lie down next to her and sleep until the light shone into his eyes, waking him and releasing him from this nightmare.

Over and over, he blamed himself for what had happened. How could he not have seen? It was as plain as if it had been written in front of his eyes. What had he been thinking of that had stopped him from seeing what was important? Or was it simply that over and over, he had come home and found her on the couch, alone, asleep, not there, and he wouldn't know what to do, and he was just waiting for her to finally make a move, and now she had, and he wasn't sure if he was sad or not that she had finally taken this last step.

He knew that even as he watched her labored breathing, other people were standing around him, but he hadn't bothered to look up for hours. Now he did, and he took in the concerned, tear-stained face of Hermione, the horror-filled, pale, diminished face of Ron, the sad face of Neville, the calm, yet sorrowful face of Luna. All his friends were there, watching over Ginny with him. Yet he was alone, and they let him be alone, because no one could reach him here, and so they stood on the outside, trying to send messages in to him, but the lines of communication were down, and didn't they understand that stones don't have ears?

A/N: how do you like it?? I know, I know, a little sloppy, but I hope you still like it. And I would really appreciate reviews. In fact, I will not continue until I have three new reviews. Thanks ever so much.........tanna


	3. Lights shine in her empty eyes

A/N: the third enstallment

Disclaimer: I own nothing pertaining to Harry Potter, and I also claim no rights to the song "Fred Jones, Part 2" by the extraordinary Ben Folds Five.

The lights are off again chapter 3

_Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark _

_There's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall_

_He has cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes_

_Things that remind him that life has been good._

_25 years, he's worked at the paper,_

_A man's here to take him downstairs._

_And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones, it's time._

_There was no party,_

_And there were no songs_

'_Cause today's just a day like the day that he started._

_No one is left here that knows his first name,_

_And life barrels on like a runaway train_

_Where the passengers change, they don't change anything_

_You get off someone else can get on._

_And I'm sorry Mr. Jones, it's time._

_Streetlight shines through the shades, _

_casting lines on the floor, and lines on his face_

_He reflects on the day._

_Fred gets his paints out and goes to the basement,_

_Projecting some slides on a plain white canvas_

_And traces it, fills in the spaces,_

He turns of the slide, and it doesn't look right yeah, 

_And all of these bastards have taken his place, _

_He's forgotten but not yet gone._

_And I'm sorry Mr. Jones_

_And I'm sorry Mr. Jones._

_And I'm sorry Mr. Jones, _

_It's time._

Harry woke stiff and hungry in the plastic hospital chair. He looked out the window at the dawn sky and sighed. He shifted his gaze down to Ginny and he almost smiled. She was sleeping peacefully, with the first real smile on her face that he had seen for so long. Her thin-boned hands were unclenched on the top of the hospital blanket, and her eyes weren't fluttering fitfully like he had seen them do every other night for months. Her breathing was calm, not rapid. She was peaceful for once.

He pried himself from his chair and walked into the corridor to find someone. He walked down the hallway and looked at the floating bubble lights that where extinguished this early in the morning, and were vacant and dull. They looked like dead wishes and dreams, floating there transparent above his head.

He rounded the corner and ran into Ron, who was heading in the opposite direction as him. Ron smiled wanly and said softly "hey mate." Harry put his arm around Ron's shoulders and turned around so he was walking in step with his best friend as they headed back toward Ginny's room. Ron handed Harry a mug with the symbol of Saint Mungoe's on it, full of tea.

"Here, I thought you might want something warm."

"Thanks. I don't know what I would do without you all."

Ron chuckled half-heartedly and said

"The others are catching a bite to eat, but I wanted to stay with you and Ginny."

"She's going to be alright. I can tell."

Ron smiled a little and didn't say anything else until they reached the room, when he said "I miss the way she used to be. Do you?" Harry didn't answer at first, and then he said "I didn't know it was this bad. All I knew was that I wanted her to be back the way she was – full of smiles and joy. And I stayed with her, because I thought it was a phase she was going through, and also of course, because I love her."


End file.
